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Monday, January 22, 2007

When shall i see my home

Oh my home.Oh our home. When shall i see my home×2? I will never forget my home.It's sounds like a song but not in a go-slow in Naija,is like you are in diaspora and longing to see your home. This was a journey i took and i was not close to the borders yets...

Buses,okada men and molue drivers are the pilots,while conductors are co-pilots. while the police men and maja maja will be emigration officers... They will scan the airbus(molue) for country ban goods and illegal immigrants(one chance/armed robbers). As if that is not enough,you have to provide a valid travelling document(driving license) with a valid visa for every road block.

If your visa is not valid(bribe) they will delay your flight for another hour,while this issue is been resolved your visa fee has expired and you can apply for a new one. If you don't agree with the procedures,they might invite you to there emigration office(police station).At there office your application will be checked and results will be sudden,oga why you self no dey co-operate..

By this time your airbus(molue) is accumulating a parking fee at there office parking lot and your passengers are longing to see there home,with there access luggage on board and there will be fumings.

In the airbus (molue)there will be a range of class, market women,students,job seekers will be in second class and the well spoken and mannered are in business class. "Who are you talking to" yells a man in a tailored suit clutching a briefcase filled with fake document. Do you know who i am? Look at this useless man. Don't mind him he's nobody.

By this time the pilot(driver) has gotten clearance to to resume his flight. The passengers all exhausted and hungry will be longing for a hold up so they can buy some snacks from the road side stewards(hawkers),offering you the best food and valuable gadgets all tax free shopping on board...

Hey dem don steal my phone o, yells a man in the business class in a better voice. Who steal my phone if i no see me phone wahala go happen o. From the cockpit came a sound you are not allowed to have gsm on you on this flight because it can interfere with the navigation system.

Suddenly after the gsm issue has just been resolved we landed in a Vietcong's booby trap. It was an ambush and we where forced to break the journey.

There was a long silence and i could here a man chanting something in tongue. I thought we were been jacked till a heard a voice commanding everyone to get down. Get down before i count three,,,one,,two,teeree the airbus was deserted. I could hear screams, hey my luggage oh eh my Ghana must go. Jesu,jesus,jehovah,holy mother save me oh...Everyone called on is saviour but we where only in the hands of emigration officers(police men)

All they wanted was just a lift to the nearest bus stop
I nearly did it in my pants my legs were shaky
I am regretting this journey

I was not close to the borders yet neither was i on a BA flight to England. I know how they search Naijas this days and your documents are always spooky in there eyes. My encounter was even worse than a BA flight you have ever heard. Back to my flight home i hope to get home on time.

The congestion of Lagos traffic can be solved by implementing a policy of carpool ,time sharing and creation of other means of transportation.Lagos can have it's own tube,trams and train connections,also drainage system that will help solve it's traffic jams.
A new driving qualification for every car owner. Police will fine anyone that's break the driving rules and in case of bad driving licenses should be withdrawn.

There are no traffic boards or they are very few that has to be improved on. The driving standard should be improved and periodic checks should be carried out annually for used cars,new cars after four years..

The population of Lagos is alarming that it needs a better solution to his traffic problems,productive hours is lost daily in this hold ups. The police can't respond to a distress call and commuters spend more hours on the road than planed.

My next journey will be on camel.

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